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Friday Laugh

Saw this posted on Facebook and thought it was pretty funny. 


From several posts on Facebook. 

1. My goal for 2016 was to lose just 10 pounds … only 15 to go …

2. Ate salad for dinner. Mostly croutons and tomatoes … Really just one big, round crouton covered with tomato sauce … And  cheese…………..FINE, it was a pizza… I ate a pizza …

3. How to prepare Tofu:

  • Throw it in the trash.
  • Grill some Meat.

4. I just did a week’s worth of cardio after walking into a spider web …

5. I don’t mean to brag but… I finished my 14-day supply of diet food in 3 hours and 20 minutes …

6. A recent study has found women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it …

7. Kids today don’t know how easy they have it… when I was young, I had to walk 9 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel…

8. Senility has been a smooth transition for me…

9. Remember back when we were kids and every time it was below zero out they closed school? Me neither.

10. I may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented … I’m sorry, I forgot where I was going with this …

11. I love being over 50 … I learn something new every day … and forget 5 others …

12. A thief broke into my house last night … He started searching for money … so I woke up and searched with him…

13. My dentist told me I need a Crown … I said, “You bet, pour mine over rocks” …

14. I think I’ll just put an “Out of Order” sticker on my forehead 
and call it a day …

“Just remember, once you’re over the hill you begin to pick up speed.”


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