Undeniable Adult Truths

I saw this on my cousin, Wally’s Facebook page. I was cracking up reading it. So I had to find it a post to share.

And I’ve said it before, who comes up with this stuff and how does it get around for people to see. Some people are really creative and have a lot of time on their hands.

They say laughter is the best medicine. We all could use a little bit laughter in our lives!

Subject: Undeniable Adult Truths

1. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I’m pretty sure
I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the
person died.

9. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work
when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the
rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don’t
want to have to restart my collection…again.

13. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if
I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I
did not make any changes to.

14. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or
Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

17. I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.

18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

19. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?

20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty,
and you can wear them forever.

22. Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’d bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.

24. The first testicular guard, the “Cup,” was used in Hockey in 1874 and
the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for
men to realize that their brain is also important.

Ladies…..Quit Laughing.

Heal the past, live the present!

Hope this puts a smile on your face. Enjoy.

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Cinnamon Apple Rings

Do you remember Cinnamon Apple Rings that were served with your school lunches?

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I don’t think I ever ate those little red apple rings that came with my lunch. I saw them more as something that took the space of an extra serving of mashed potatoes or a cookie.

I’m sure there was a reason that the cafeteria workers served us those nasty little apple rings. But could they really be considered a fruit?

Even after looking up pictures and recipes of Cinnamon Apple Rings, I still don’t think I will ever try them. I think I have post traumatic food syndrome for all those years of them being served to me.

Just in case, you like Cinnamon Apple Rings, here is a recipe just for you.

Red Cinnamon Apple Rings

I have been making these for Thanksgiving for my family for about 20 years. Simple, delicious and colorful too!

Shared by Hound, Louisville, KY

Ingredients

3 lb. apples
1 C. water
2 C. sugar
1/3 C. red cinnamon candies (Red Hots)
Few drops red food coloring

Directions

Combine all of the above ingredients except the apples in a skillet to make a syrup. Pare and core apples (Rome seems to work best). Slice into 1/2-inch rings. Cook apple rings in covered skillet in syrup until tender.

From: © 2013 Recipe4Living

Sunday Laugh

Thought this was funny!

Make it a great day!

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Wedding Invitation

Did you see this story that was on the Internet this week?

How funny is this wedding invitation that was sent out this couple. If I was to ever get married, I would hope that I would be as creative as this couple.

I do want to have a party for when I turn 50, maybe I need to start thinking of some clever things to put on the invitation.

Wedding_invitation

Chicago Couple’s Wedding Invitation Goes Viral (ABC News)

Chicago Couple’s Wedding Invitation Goes Viral

Posts By Geetika Rudra | ABC News Blogs – 19 hours ago

A Chicago couple’s wedding invitation went viral on Wednesday, briefly surpassing the royal baby in popularity.

“My phone really started blowing up after it got put on MSN,” Katie Kerr, of Chicago, Ill., told ABC station WLS-TV. “It was even ahead of the royal baby.”

She and her husband, Chris Sabino, made guests check off their reason for attending or not attending their wedding in a clever RSVP.

Guests who planned on attending their wedding could say they were coming because “Two words: Free. Booze,” or “I’m in your wedding party, idiot. Wait, is this optional?”

And guests who expressed their regrets did so because “I’m lame. On a scale of one to ten, my lameness would be in the 9.5 to 9.8 range.”

“We wanted to have fun with it,” Kerr said.

Read text of the invitation below:

Yes! I will be attending because…

– Two words: Free. Booze.

– I’m in your wedding party, idiot. Wait, is this optional?

– This is my only chance to play golf at Medinah & I plan on sneaking off during the toasts to play a quick round.

– I would never dream of missing it! After all, knowing the Kerr/Sabino Family (circle one) this should be a night full of must-see fun/drama/ridiculous dancing (circle one)!

No. I won’t be attending because…

– I’m lame. On a scale of one to ten, my lameness would be in the 9.5 to 9.8 range.

-I’ll be watching the Cubs win the World Series

Edit: these options are meant to be circumstances that could actually happen.

– I will be visiting, um, Yemen. Yeah, Yemen. But it’s a secret trip. So if you ask anyone, they will have no clue what you’re talking about.

– I don’t know who you people are or how you got my address. Leave me alone! (Oh, and congrats on your upcoming nuptials.)

Best wishes to the bride and groom! If this is how you are starting off your marriage, the fun has only just begun!

R.I.P. Lupe Martinez

Yesterday, my Tia (Aunt) Lupe Martinez died after being in poor health these past couple of years. As long as I have been alive, I’ve always called her by her name, Lupe. Not Tia or Aunt. Just by her first name.

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She was my dad’s sister and is the third one of his siblings that have passed away out of 10.

Since moving down to Texas eight years ago, I was able to spend time with her. She was an amazing person. The things that she had gone through was enough for four people’s lifetimes. How she managed to stay alive with all the heartbreak and health problems is truly amazing.

First, she loses her son, Willie to cancer. Then she loses another son, Franky. Then, last year, she lost her third son, Tudy. In between all of that, she lost both her parents (my grandparents) and her husband, Fernando. And then there were her health problems. I’m sure her medical files were as big as my mother’s file were.

I am sad that she is no longer with us, but I know that she is in a better place. A place with her sons and husband; pain-free and happy, really happy for the first time in a long time. I can see her being her loud, lively self again and catching up with family, friends and my mom on what’s been going on.

R.I.P. Lupe, you will be missed!

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Simple Home Remedies

I saw this and thought it was pretty funny. I even laughed out loud in the office.

Have a great day!

Simple Home Remedies
(From 11.3.2005)

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don’t panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto. The blockage will be almost instantly removed.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the toothache.

Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are:

You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape.

If it doesn’t move and should, use the WD-40.

If it shouldn’t move and does, use the duct tape.

Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.

If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance.

And finally, be really nice to your family and friends; you never know when you might need them to empty your bedpan.

R.I.P. Sean Misner

I saw this on a friend’s Facebook page. What a way to honor a hero!

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The ashes of Sean Misner, one of the 19 firefighters who died last week in Arizona, were being transported by his wife back to their hometown on Tuesday.

She was in his truck and is pregnant with their unborn child.

On every overpass for nearly 500 miles there was a tribute similar to this.

Pretty damn remarkable and worthy of more media coverage than most of the
other stuff that has been on tv lately.

Wanted to share because our media has seemed to overlook it.

https://www.facebook.com/SeanMisnerMemorial?fref=ts

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